The "Trashbear" - Reclaiming The Name

It all started in the 20th century. This was when humans in the Western world changed the way they lived. Suburbia began tightening  the now choking grip in which it holds society. This change, all the space used, meant that the raccoon of North America also started being strangled. With its natural habitat being quickly destroyed, the raccoon did what it had to do, acclimate and assimilate to its new surroundings. The raccoon quickly understood the value of the American trash can, and began to see these cans as lifeblood. The spread of the association between raccoons and trash cans happened almost as quickly as it took for a raccoon to convince an entire neighborhood of semi-professional bowlers that the Swedes finally made the Cold War warm by firebombing Canada. The link forged between raccoons and trashcans has become permanent in the years since, and one of the consequences of this was (relatively recent) popularization of the diminutive phrase: "trashbear". The reference to raccoons as bears stems, likely, from the strong evolutionary link between raccoons and bears, as well as their mutual ability and tendency to walk both quadrupedally and bipedally. The word "trashbear", origins aside, has done much damage to the feeling of solidarity within the raccoon community, and removing it from the lexicon of how we discuss the only animal that compulsively washes its food but literally eats trash is impossible due to how ingrained it has become. So the only real solution is to change its connotations; "trashbear" needs to become a word that looks at the raccoon's attraction to trash as something that they should be proud of, something they can use to build their identity as small mammals. To all the trashbears reading, be loud (like seriously, wake them up every night by never learning that you can't jump on top of trashcans and not knock them over) and be proud.

- JS